6 Spiritual Meanings of Why You're Dreaming About Your Ex

So, you keep dreaming about your ex? But what does it mean? Don’t worry you’re not alone. The spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex is that there are some unresolved questions, soul ties, feelings or assumptions that you’re making about the situation. 

Key Takeaways

  • The spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex is that you have unresolved emotions
  • It is a reflection of something you haven’t healed within yourself
  • These dreams usually stem from insecurity, trauma or self-doubt
  • It may be a sign that you want them back or that it’s time to move on
  • Emotional healing and focusing on yourself is the best way to find your answer

    What Does it Mean When Your Ex Appears in Your Dreams?

    From a spiritual perspective, dreaming about your ex may mean that you still have a soul tie to that person. There are multiple interpretations of these types of dreams but generally it means that you have unfinished business, that they’re thinking about you or that you have unresolved emotions and trauma about the situation. 

    This isn’t necessarily a sign that you want to get back together, it could just mean that you need a little more time to heal. If they’re showing up over and over again, it’s a message from your subconscious mind that you need to work through something or possibly even get in touch with that person. This all depends on your personal situation, how the relationship ended and if it’s healthy for you to go back. 

    6 Spiritual Meanings of Dreaming About Your Ex

    1. You’re Not Over It 

    There is an emotional tie to your ex that you haven’t quite worked through yet, so they’re popping up in your dreams to remind you. When you deny your feelings about the situation you are repressing your emotions. These repressed emotions become a part of your “shadow self” and will be stored in the subconscious mind as trauma. 

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that you want them back, it just means that you’ve suffered a great loss and your mental, physical and spiritual body are trying to get back into alignment. This is why we often feel both emotional and physical pain when it comes to missing an ex. When you dream about them, it just means that the subconscious mind is signalling that you haven’t dealt with your emotions yet. 

    If you’re not over it and continue to dream about your ex here are some things you can do:

    1. Seek closure - communicate with your ex about what happened if it feels comfortable and safe to do so
    2. Talk to someone - choose someone that you trust to speak about how you’re feeling. Getting out of your own head and saying things out loud can help you to heal. 
    3. Shadow Work - practice self healing modalities like shadow work for relationships and self love to understand where these feelings manifest
    4. Speak to a Therapist - sometimes we need an objective outsider to help us understand how we’re feeling without fear of judgment 

    2. You Feel Lonely

    Maybe you’re just kind of lonely and longing for some familiarity. That’s okay. They’re popping up in your dreams because you subconsciously feel as though you’re missing something. This can take days, weeks or even months to get over. 

    Dreaming about your ex because you’re feeling lonely doesn’t mean that you want to get back together, it is just a part of the grieving process. Don’t mistake your loneliness for a desire to be back with your ex. This will pass. 

    If you have an anxious attachment style this can be really difficult and you can feel like you’re going crazy obsessing over that person. Try not to isolate yourself during this time and reach out to a friend or family member when you’re suffering the pangs of loneliness. If you don’t feel close enough to anyone then this is a great time to pick up a new hobby, treat yourself to something nice and be patient with yourself. 

    3. You Secretly Want Them Back

    You might not admit it to yourself but you’re feeling indecisive over the breakup. Should you contact them, what are they thinking, have they moved on? These questions are plaguing you and all you want to do is reach out to them. This is all very natural and will cause you to continue to dream about your ex. 

    These feelings of unfinished business will likely continue to ruminate in your mind for weeks or even months. You probably have a lot of unresolved pain and anger over the situation and need to find a way to reach forgiveness. When you hold onto resentment for your ex you’re feeding your brain mixed messages. When you sleep your mind is still thinking about them and is signalling to you that you need to work through your emotions. 

    If you are thinking about reaching out, consider if it’s good for your mental health. Take some time to really understand what it is that you want and how you'll tell your ex about it. If you don't feel like it'll work out, don't risk reaching out and starting your emotional healing from zero again.

    4. You’re Scared to Start Something New

    Maybe you’re considering dating, you’ve met someone new or you’ve gone on a few dates and felt absolutely nothing. All of these situations are affecting you subconsciously and can lead to more dreams about your ex. It may feel like you'll never love again or that you don't want to risk the disappointment of trying something new.

    You might subconsciously be trying to avoid getting hurt again and are too scared to open up to someone new. You don’t want to feel the way your ex made you feel so you dwell on all of the things that can go wrong and wonder if it’s even worth it. Putting yourself out there takes time, be patient with yourself and don't push it. The best way to get over someone is to find healing and happiness within yourself first. If you're ready to date, try it but don't put too much pressure on the situation.

    5. You Miss Them

    Even if it ended badly, missing your ex is completely normal. You formed a deep attachment and soul tie to this person and that’s not going to go away overnight. Try to pay attention to your thoughts throughout the day; are they on your mind constantly? Your waking thoughts will infiltrate your dreams, this is why your ex keeps popping up in them. 

    The obsessive thoughts are hard to avoid during this time of healing, but try to distract yourself and try new things. You might be romanticizing a situation that really wasn’t that great. Try to be objective when you think about them and realize there is a reason that you went your separate ways. 

    6. You Feel Unhappy 

    Have you been completely honest with yourself about the relationship? If you’re suppressing your emotions and feeling deeply unhappy then your subconscious is going to keep sending you messages in your dreams. Dreaming about your ex can manifest from deep sadness and longing for something that is no longer there. The root of this unhappiness is something you need to get to the bottom of because it’s causing you mental stress. Ask yourself:

    • Why did the relationship fall apart?
    • Who’s fault was it? Did you both play a part in it?
    • Can you forgive your ex or yourself for how it all played out?
    • If you could speak to your ex now what would you say and what would you ask?
    • Is opening up a line of communication with your ex going to be good for you? Why? Why not?
    • What can you do this week to make myself feel happier?
    • What steps can you take to move forward and stop thinking about them?

    How To Stop Dreaming About Your Ex

    Okay, so either you know that your ex isn’t good for you, they ghosted or you’re questioning whether you’ve made the right decision about leaving. Either way when you have unresolved feelings for your ex, they’re going to keep invading your dreams. This can feel kind of uncomfortable and surreal when you wake up; making your morning and day more of a mental challenge. Here are some ways to stop dreaming about your ex:

    1. Contact them - if you’re not going to stop thinking about it, you want to have a conversation and it is safe to do so, maybe the best way is to get closure by either reopening or closing this chapter
    2. Find happiness in yourself - try new things, put yourself out there, hang out with friends or family more often - finding distractions is a great way for your mind to stop ticking
    3. Try our self therapy journal How to Get Over a Breakup which takes you through shadow work prompts and exercises to confront your feelings and help you heal
    4. Exercise - most of the people getting out and training are doing it to work through mental health issues - moving your body and focusing on exercise is a great way to feel better mentally and physically
    5. Shadow work for relationships and self-love - practicing shadow work might help you to release some of the repressed emotions laying dormant in your subconscious mind
    6. Breathwork - practicing breathwork for emotional healing can help you to release trauma from the body and any spiritual ties to your ex 

    Final Thoughts 

    Dreaming about your ex can be frustrating and confusing. You finally feel like you’re moving forward and then, boom, there they are bothering you in your dreams. This can mean lots of different things but spiritually, it's a sign that you have repressed feelings or trauma surrounding the situation. Whether you want to go back to your ex or not is a matter for you to figure out but remember time will help you heal. When you start focusing on yourself and healing your emotional body, you can transform these feelings and avoid dreaming about your ex.

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    Author Bio

    Just a journalist who fell into spiritual practice by accident. I wanted to share the lessons I've learnt in a cool place and write in a way that appeals to all generations. I cover all things spirituality with a special interest in pop culture trends.