What is the Bechdel Test in Dating?

Okay we love this; TikTokker @ginnyhogan has brought an awesome twist to dating dynamics, proposing a Bechdel Test for first dates. It was originally created to see how women are represented in film; but for people dating in the age of dating apps, it's about whether your date has even asked you a single personal question. Let's dive in.

What is the Bechdel Test?

Ceated by Alison Bechdel, the OG test challenges films to pass three basic criteria:

1. Presence of at least two (named) women.
2. These women must engage in a conversation with each other.
3. Their conversation should be about something other than a man.

Despite its simplicity, a staggering number of films fail to meet these criteria, highlighting the often one-dimensional portrayal of women in media. It's crazy to think how this influenced young women growing up.

The Bechdel Test in the Dating World

So, are you really into them or are you just amazing on a first date?

As women, we often tend to feel uncomfortable in silences and genuinely want to get to know our date. Sometimes we don't even notice that they haven't even asked one question about us.

The Bechdel Test for a first date is; have they asked you 2 questions within 3 hours? That's it, that's the test. Watch out for this next time you're on a date, you'll be surprised at how many men fail.

Here's some other things to look for:

• Reciprocal Conversation: Is the conversation a two-way street? Both of you should show equal interest in learning about each other. If you find yourself constantly steering the conversation or making all the effort, it might be a red flag.
• Depth of Topics: Are you discussing a range of topics, or is the conversation hovering around superficial aspects? A date that delves into shared interests, values, and experiences is often more fulfilling and indicative of a meaningful connection.
• Personal Interest: Assess if the person is genuinely interested in you as an individual. Are they asking about your life, opinions, and experiences, or just talking about themselves or the idea of a romantic relationship?
• Self-Reflection: Reflect on whether you genuinely like your date or if you're primarily the one making the date enjoyable. If you're putting in most of the effort or feeling unacknowledged, it might be a sign of an unbalanced dynamic

By applying the Bechdel Test principles to dating, women can gain a clearer perspective on the quality and potential of their interactions on first dates. It's not just about finding a partner who ticks the right boxes but engaging with someone who sees and appreciates you as a whole, multifaceted individual.

Final Thoughts

When you apply the Bechdel Test to dating, it's a real eye-opener. It's not just about having a conversation; it's about the balance and depth of that chat. Are both people really getting to know each other, or is it just one person doing all the talking?

The Bechdel angle in dating is like a litmus test: Are we both equally interested and engaged?

Are we talking about stuff that really lets us see each other as whole, interesting people, not just through the lens of dating?

It's a cool way to think about whether a date's conversation is genuinely two-sided and meaningful. Makes you think, right?