How To Stop People Pleasing
Are you tired of saying yes when you wish you could say no?
How to Stop People Pleasing is a guided self-therapy journal designed for anyone who feels stuck in the habit of putting others first at their own expense. If you struggle to set boundaries, fear letting people down, or find yourself feeling anxious and resentful after agreeing to things you don’t want, this journal is for you.
Inside, you’ll discover:
- Clear, science-backed explanations for why people pleasing happens (hint: it’s not your fault)
- Simple, actionable exercises to help you spot triggers and rewire old patterns
- Somatic and nervous-system calming tools to help you feel safe saying no
- 100+ journal prompts to build self awareness, self-worth and practice setting healthy boundaries
- Real-world scripts so you can start communicating your needs with confidence
This isn’t just another self-help book, it’s a practical guide you’ll use every day. Step by step, you’ll learn how to stop overthinking, silence your inner critic, and finally put yourself first, without guilt.
If you’re ready to stop people pleasing, set boundaries, and choose yourself, this is your toolkit.
What's Inside
How it works:Discover how saying yes was your way of feeling safe in the world. This is where you get honest about where it all started, so you can finally begin to let yourself grow.
Who Are You Without People Pleasing?Who are you when you’re not trying to keep everyone else happy? Here’s your space to get a little messy, explore what actually matters to you, and meet the version of you that’s always been there underneath it all.
Breaking the People Pleasing PatternYou don’t have to stay stuck in old habits. With a little neuroscience and a lot of honesty, this chapter helps you notice the patterns your brain learned for survival and try out new moves that actually feel good for you.
Your Shadow Work JournalThis is where you get real about what’s underneath your people pleasing. You’ll face the hard feelings, call out the old stories, and finally make space for new patterns that actually fit who you are now.
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I’d catch myself volunteering for every family favor and then fuming later. Two weeks in, I said no to an extra shift with zero guilt, plenty of sleep. Big win.
Most self-help books lose me at chapter three, but these shadow-work pages pulled stuff I hadn’t thought about since high school. The connection between my people-pleasing and childhood pressures was weirdly obvious once I wrote it out.
The boundary phrases felt awkward on paper, but once I practised them in the mirror they rolled out naturally. Told my roommate “I actually need a quiet night” and… miracle… she respected it.
Each chapter’s like a quick gym circuit for your brain read a page, do a prompt, keep moving. I do one on the train, one before bed. Three weeks later I’m choosing my weekend, not my buddies’.
Juggling kids and a side hustle had me saying yes to every PTA task. Now I pause, check the planner, and only commit when it fits. Kids notice I’m less snappy, husband notices I’m less exhausted. Win-win.
Digging into childhood stuff usually feels hokey, but the prompts were straight shooting enough for me to engage. Connected the dots between dad’s approval only love and my current over achieving. Brutal, helpful, done.
FAQ
Frequently Asked QuestionsThis journal is for anyone who feels stuck in people pleasing habits, struggles to set boundaries, or wants to stop saying yes out of guilt or fear.
Use your journal as often as feels right for you, there’s no perfect schedule. Some people check in daily, others a few times a week. Go at your own pace, and trust that showing up for yourself, even in small ways, is enough.
This journal helps you understand why your brain got wired for people pleasing, using simple neuroscience and self-awareness prompts. You’ll spot your patterns, calm your nervous system, and practice new ways to set boundaries in real life.
You’ll use prompts and practices that retrain your brain to notice people-pleasing in real time. There are exercises for rewiring old habits, calming your body, and building new ways to set boundaries. Over time, these tools help your brain choose self-worth over approval.
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