How to Get the Ick to Get Over Them

Breaking up is hard to do, even when you're just letting go of a situationship. Maybe they're constantly on your mind or you keep seeing things that remind you of them while doom scrolling on TikTok.

Either way, it feels like you probably liked them a little more than they did you and you're over it, right? Here's the good news - all you have to do is get the Ick - and just like that, you're over it.

_{Romanticizing the Bad}

Here's the deal. When we first meet someone, it's all roses and butterflies.

We see them through these amazing, almost magical glasses that turn everything they do into absolute perfection. Late replies? They're just super busy. Doesn’t remember your birthday? Well, they have a lot on their mind.

It's this intriguing phenomenon where we tend to romanticize people and overlook their not-so-great traits because we like them.

It's almost as if our brain goes on auto-pilot, cherry-picking the good and conveniently brushing aside the not-so-good. You're just caught up in the whirlwind of the new connection, and it’s easy to get swept away. This isn't necessarily bad. After all, no one is perfect. But, when the connection ends, it's important to get a balanced perspective.

_{The Ick & Reprogramming the Mind}

The "ick" is a sudden wave of repulsion you might feel towards someone you were once attracted to. It's like a switch flips and aspects of their personality or behavior, previously overlooked or found endearing, suddenly become unbearable.

When trying to get over someone, the "ick" can be incredibly helpful. It acts as a reality check, pulling you out of the rose-tinted reverie and exposing the not-so-perfect parts of the person you've been holding onto.

Leveraging this feeling to reprogram your subconscious mind aids in healing because it alters the narrative your mind has been clinging to. It shifts the storyline from an idealized version of the person and your relationship with them, to a more balanced and truthful perspective.

By acknowledging and focusing on the aspects that give you the "ick", you're essentially telling your subconscious mind that moving on is not just necessary, but a positive step forward.

How to Get the Ick to Get Over Them

_{Step 1: Be Honest With Yourself}

This first step might seem simple, but it's the most crucial one and can also be the toughest. It involves some serious self-reflection. Recognize that you've been seeing this person through a rose-tinted lens, idealizing them, and overlooking their flaws. It's completely natural to do this when we're smitten, but now's the time to challenge this perception. It's okay to admit that they might not have been as perfect as you thought they were.

_{Step 2: Make a List:}

Once you're ready to see things more realistically, grab a pen and paper, and start jotting down all the things that bothered you about the person. Did they always interrupt you while you were speaking? Were they frequently late for dates? No detail is too small or too insignificant for this list. The aim is to create a comprehensive picture that captures not only their good qualities but also their less attractive ones.

_{Step 3: Visualization}

This is where your imagination comes into play. With the list at your disposal, start visualizing those instances that left a sour taste. Picture their disregard for your time when they arrived late or the dismissive look they gave you when you expressed your feelings. This mental exercise is about rewiring your brain to associate the person with these not-so-good experiences, creating a more balanced perspective.

_{Step 4: Affirmations}

Now, let's shift the focus from them to you. It's time to reinforce your self-esteem and worth. Draft a list of affirmations that resonate with you. Sentences like "I am deserving of a loving relationship," or "I am enough just as I am," can work wonders. Repeat these phrases to yourself every day, believing in their truth. These powerful words help to cultivate a more positive mindset and encourage your subconscious mind to accept these affirmations as reality.

_{Step 5: Mindful Practice}

It's not enough to do this just once or twice. Repetition is a key component in effectively reprogramming your subconscious mind. Make it a routine to go through your list, visualize, and recite your affirmations daily. The more consistently you practice these steps, the quicker your mind will form new associations.

_{Step 6: Stay Positive}

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Changing deeply ingrained perceptions can take time. You'll have good days and not-so-good days, and that's okay. Don't beat yourself up if you find your mind slipping back into old patterns. Instead, gently guide it back. This process isn't about villainizing the other person, but about realizing they have flaws like everyone else and taking them off the pedestal you placed them on.

_{How to Get Over a Breakup}

Still struggling to get over it? Our self therapy journal How to Get Over a Breakup can probably help. It's designed to help you grieve the relationship to help you move on. We'll take you through some neuroscience and psychology to teach you how you can rewire the brain and then practice shadow work journal prompts to help you process your emotions. After that we teach you about affirmations to help you create a new vision for the future. It's a hard journey, but you got this!

_{Final Thoughts}

Remember, getting over someone takes time and patience.

You're essentially detoxing your mind from them. So, it's okay to take it slow and feel your feelings.

The 'Ick' is not about hating them but about breaking down the idealized image of them. So, put on those reality-check glasses, and let's toast to moving on, one 'ick' at a time.